I once worked with a girl who described her husband as a person who blew first then ruminated….

She would explain, “anytime I tell him that something is changing, he has an immediate outburst. Then three or so days later he starts a conversation around it and gets onboard.” She went on to say that she had to learn to ignore the immediate outburst, since he was really screaming at the fact that life changes, and not at her; and since he typically came around after he had time to think on it, she felt it was a small price to pay.

Isn’t that true for so many dogs? For example, you’re trying to load your new dog in the car and he puts on the brakes, freaks out and causes a ridiculous scene. From the dog’s perspective he just rallied against something new – no different than my co-workers husband. Then I wonder if the dog’s thinking doesn’t go a little like this….

Man I wish we were at the lake. I love the lake. Mom is so happy at the lake. Mom why don’t we go back to the lake?

Oh shoot, the lake means the car. I hate the car. Everything goes so fast when I’m in the car and it’s so jolty. I hate the car. But I love the lake, man I love the lake….drat, guess I’ll have to endure the car to get to the lake.

Obviously I have no idea what a dog thinks, but if we are able to ‘hold the space’ for our spouses as they take the time necessary to digest new information, can’t we do the same for our best friends?